Dear Mama…

9 years to this day, my mother, Ida Pearl Hardiman lost a 4 year battle with cancer.  I’d be lying if I said I was ok with her leaving, but from the biblical description, Earth can’t compare to Heaven.  There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my mother.  I have dreams about her and often she doesn’t say anything but it’s just a blessing to feel her presence.  Sometimes those dreams can be too much and I ask the Lord to scale back. 

I was left to become a man at 18.  There was no crash course available either, I had to figure it out.  But the one thing that kept me straight was just thinking to myself that I did not want to disappoint my mom.  Dudes wonder why I move the way I move, or handle business the way I do, it’s because the 18 years that I had my mother, I listened and took heed to everything that she ever shared with me.  I remember being with her in the hospital at night and going to school during the day.  Those were some very tough times, but I cherished those moments.  We had conversations that I will take with me to the grave.  We talked about how people took her in when her mother passed. (She was only 19 when her mother died and 3 when her father passed)  Those stories left me weeping, because not only was I hearing about my mother’s struggles, but I was watching her fight for her life as she was sharing her past.  I remember when I got the call that my mother was gone, although I knew that she was probably gonna pass because she was very sick, I just remember having an out-of-body experience.  It was as if I was lifeless or something.  And to this day, whatever that was that left, hasn’t returned and I’m not sure that it ever will.  

All I have now are memories.  Great ones though!!!  My mother was one THE strongest woman that I have ever known.  She use to do things that women have no business doing.  My mother use to do yard work FOR REAL!  I would mow the lawn and she would clip the hedges, the weeds, help me mow, and then rake.  My mother use to make cakes too.  I’m talking 9 and 10 tier wedding cakes.  She was heavy in the church and took a vested interest in making sure that the kids acted accordingly.  My mother knew that we were the future and she was not gonna let you sell yourself short if she had anything to do with it.  I can remember saying my Easter Speech one Sunday and I wasn’t loud enough.  Do you know that this lady stopped me in front of everybody and made me start over!?!  That was crazy, but you better believe that I can be heard loud and clear at any of my current speaking engagements.  The older I get, the more I see myself acting like my mother.  If only I can be half the person that she was, then I know that I will leave this Earth a better place after I perish.

MAMA, I MISS YOU AND YOU WILL LIVE ON THROUGH ME (4)EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ida Pearl Hardiman

Sun Rise: 6/15/45

Sun Set: 5/20/01 

Below are the joints that I listen to when I’m thinking about my mother.

“Dear Mama” Tupac

“Mama Knew Love” Anthony Hamilton

“Somebody Loves You” Patti LaBelle [Moms loved this joint]

“Cry” Lyfe Jennings

Lastly, I just wanna say, hold your head to anyone that’s ever lost someone.  I wanna send a special Rest In Peace to all the mothers that have been in my life: Jessie Lee Jones; Geraldine Williams; Maxine Jones and also a thank you to those that are living: Juanita Miller, Bobby Mister, and all of the women at Greater Powell Chapel A.M.E church that are praying for me.  I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!!!

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5 thoughts on “Dear Mama…

  1. This is so sweet. I know that your mom is proud of all your accomplishments. She is smiling down on you. Love ya Todd!

  2. Dear Jeremy, As read your words my heart and eyes swole. I am so very proud of you and Chris. Now that I am a mother, I understand the bond between mother and child. It is indescribable, unexplainable, unchangeable love. I know how I feel about my children so all I can say is I am so sure that your mom is full of joy everyday as she watches from heaven as her baby boy leaves his mark on this earth. Keep goin and keep growin boy and do great things! Mama would be so proud!

  3. man, i felt like I was the author of this post because the description you painted of your darling mom, strongly resembles my momma, another darling.

    Like you, I constantly think about her. Life isn’t the same when some folks depart, yet, I’m glad to have had the time I had with her. Seems like the things we like best never last as long as we’d like.

    Many blessings my fellow.

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